what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize
