I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
