Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
