I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
