I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Randomize
