Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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