susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
