I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
Randomize