Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize
