dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Randomize
