i just had sex bonerless
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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