I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize
