Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
of course. lets lasso hookers.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Randomize
