it wasn't lemon gatorade
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
