Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Someone shattered a urinal.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
