Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
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