ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
