i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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