Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Randomize
