new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
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