I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
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