What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Randomize
