i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Randomize
