Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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