I molested 6 butterflies tonight
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
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