I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
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