people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Randomize
