So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Randomize
