hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize