you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Randomize
