You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
