I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
