Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
I party with great urgency now.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
