Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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