i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Randomize
