I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
