She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize