Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
