Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
