mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Randomize
