do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
