brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize