it was like his penis was on wheels.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Randomize
