I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
