so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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