I'd wear matching sweaters with you
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
