I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Randomize
