how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
