She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Randomize
