I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
Randomize