the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
