LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
I think i got beer on your cat.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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