You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
