I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
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