Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Randomize
