hotel room ftw
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Randomize
