she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
She made me pour olive oil on her.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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