My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
